Lonely Teenagers Broke Down My Groove

eyesshut

After spending so much time in a relationship with someone, is it ever a good idea to part over “differences” of a sort? I’d like to think not, but truth is, we do… But why do we allow this? Hell, what are all these differences about anyway?

Through the blossoming days we are most probably aware of what we like as well as what we don’t like about each other and it is in such a conscious setting that we are able to acknowledge a problem for what it is, a problem, a situation with an expiry date on it… Something we can sort out… It is when we lose sight of who we’re with and why we’re with them that we start seeing each other as the problem as opposed to seeing the situation as the problem that the “differences” are born… That’s when what we have is stamped with an expiry date.

We as people are not temporary, situations are, problems are. It’s when we start confusing each other with the situation we may be in that we blindly throw everything into the garbage bag.

Detach     your partner from     the problem, stop trying to solve your partner, solve the situation.

 

I want so much to open your eyes

‘Cause I need you to look, into mine

 

Lionized by pop culture (esp. TV series) “Open Your Eyes” by Snow Patrol has mostly been implied to be a literal opening of the eyes of a near death (or already deceased) loved one. It has been featured in both ER as well as Grey’s Anatomy to set the theme of distress of fearing the possibility or perhaps facing the fact of not being able to look into a loved one’s eyes ever again… The disbelief…

The song has also been used to ferry it’s more figurative message as the theme for Barack Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign, perhaps suggesting that the nation should be awake and or aware of the situation, not only that but to be conscious of the necessary steps (voting for him) to help the situation the American nation may have been facing at that time.

 

Get up, get out, get away from these liars

‘Cause they don’t get your soul or your fire

Take my hand; knot your fingers through mine

And we’ll walk from this dark room for the last time

 

Words that can be applied to a personal relationship… A romantic relationship. We forget that we’re in it together, we start villainizing each other, we start blaming each other for the situation, for the space we’re in, instead of teaming our way out of that space, the dark room.

 

 

 

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About Ndumiso Mncwabe

When beautiful melodies tell us horrible things and grisly sounds tell us the kind truth. This is where life and music meet. They say music has the power to inspire change, I say music has the power to inspire vibes. Good vibes and bad vibes. It also has the power to inspire thoughts, but most importantly, for it to inspire change, it must inspire conversation. I smell music, I speak music. View all posts by Ndumiso Mncwabe

14 responses to “Lonely Teenagers Broke Down My Groove

  • neffy93

    So true. Sometimes though don’t you think that one person wants to fix the problem and the other ignores them and in the end that makes the person become the problem? I guess that’s when it is time to bail on the relationship.

    Like

    • Ndumiso Mncwabe

      That’s true neffy, though I feel if being with the person is worth it perhaps investing more of ourselves to examining why the other person is ignoring the problem is in order and to “open their eyes” or trying to make them see the problem and how it’s affecting the relationship… That’s not to say I don’t think there’s a time and place to bail.

      Liked by 2 people

  • Enlightenment Angels

    Powerful words. In the end, anything worth having is worth fighting for. You just have to want it bad enough. I’m not an expert on relationships, but I do know that communication and compromise are key. You are correct in stating that “if being with the person is worth it perhaps investing more of ourselves to examining why the other person is ignoring the problem is in order and to “open their eyes” or trying to make them see the problem and how it’s affecting the relationship.” If you’ve done all you can and in your heart (that inner voice) you know truly you have, then you will know when enough is enough. Nice post! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  • mentalbreakinprogress

    Your timing with this post is impeccable Ndumiso! (((hugs))) My fiance and I have been together for 5 years. We knew going into the relationship we were total opposites…but we also knew our core values were and still are the same…We have faced challenges in our relationship, but those challenges were our own individual issues that we brought into the relationship…everyone has them and to me to turn your back on the person in your life who shares your core values, just because you can’t deal with your own baggage, brings me sadness. Why must the relationship come to an end? This is the time to turn toward each other. Dig deep (on the other hand if abuse is being suffered in the relationship. I’m not saying to stick that out…whole other issue) I relate to this post so much because my fiance and I just recently faced a crossroads…do we move forward and love each other for who we are, despite the current struggle or do we run for the hills and call it “irreconcilable differences” ? Luckily, one of the core values we share is a strong sense of loyalty to the ones we love. I quality I admire in him and myself. We always seem to come back to that one and each time we do, our relationship gets stronger. I’m not saying a relationship should be riddled with problems to overcome, but, at the end of the day….like you say we’re human, not “situations” and it’s SO important to remember that. When things get tough ( and they will, that’s life) it’s not a sign the relationship is “not meant to be” it’s the Universe asking you to take the next step. To grow. Funny how we all say we want that yet we don’t seem to want to do the work involved. Thank you again for sharing Ndumiso! I needed to read this! (((hugs))) xo

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ndumiso Mncwabe

      Your responses always leave me warm inside Cavelle 🙂 I Think the reason you’re able to relate to this post is because like you, I’ve been re-evaluating the relationship I’m in, especially because of the fighting that had been going on and what you have with your fiancé is very similar to what supergirl and I have… hear me out, there was a time when I wouldn’t even consider dating someone who didn’t listen to the same type of music as I haha! What I’m saying is, I had always dated those I felt had the most in common with me but it would always end after a while which is why dating someone “different” seemed like a good change for me… She and I are very different though our love for each other isn’t… I feel that going into that kind of relationship leaves little room for unrealistic expectations (like being on the same page about everything and or “getting” each other every time) and a lot of room for understanding, for learning (after all if they are different, you’ll learn their approach to situations and if it’s more effective) and the ability to accommodate each other… Thank you so much for reading (hugs)

      Liked by 1 person

  • shinepositivepower

    Every person is unique, different and complex which makes any relationship rather complex too. Even if we might find a person like the things we like or have a lot of things in common with us, we might still find differences. I agree that what we really need is look at the situation, see things in a different light, and there should be respect, love, understanding and acceptance. By the way, you make a lot of sense…many people can relate with what you are writing. Kudos to you! Keep writing! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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