Kissed By God



The only thing I haven’t done yet is die

And it’s me and my plus one at the after life

Crowds are won and lost and won again but our hearts beat for the diehards -Fall Out Boy in Thriller


What makes us diehards? What leads to us being these high-spirited hungry enthusiasts? I say a lot of the time it’s seeing ourselves in something or someone, being able to relate but not only because we see ourselves in whoever or whatever but seeing something we feel we know. Something we’ve seen brings a sense of validity, we instantly feel comfortable enough to invest ourselves, our emotions, our spirits, our love and passion on the given subject. Giving such praise, idolizing a meer mortal is a danger not because it goes against the good book, but because of the mental happenings that take place when the receiver of all this love and passion, loses or outlives all that love and attention. So the story begins…


It’s a story we all have at the back of our minds, it will always ring a bell in our heads hence we will always be drawn to it, making the story ever relevant. It’s a story of a middle age successful man who isn’t necessarily happy with his life despite his fortune. Yea we’ve seen this in a variety of movies, music videos (Including the one I’m about to talk about) as well as sitcoms esp. Two And a Half Men… Well, maybe he wasn’t part of a big band but “Charlie Harper” is a middle-aged millionaire musician who isn’t sure what to do with his life as he drowns his emptiness with alcohol and “hookers”… of course we don’t really pay attention to that cos it’s a sitcom after all.

Turned and chased the dollar, But it broke his heart, So he stuck his middle finger, To the world– Kevin Rudolph in Let It Rock

Not many know how much of a Kurt Cobain fan I am, just to go off topic a bit, they say money can’t buy happiness but everyone wants to find this out themselves. sometimes happiness itself or what we see as happiness or yearn for in the depths of our desires isn’t at all what we hope… And after exerting our souls, our passion chasing that paper, chasing our dreams, when we finally get it… it’s not so shiny up close, in fact, it can be blinding in a sense that, one can’t see things getting any better. One feels the only thing left to see is the heart stopping mysteries of the afterlife, they give in.

Back to Kurt Cobain, if it weren’t for him and his band, God knows what I would’ve called this blog… I certainly don’t. What I also don’t know is where his music would be if he were still around.

“I’d rather burn out than fade away”- Kurt Cobain

Burn out he did, committing suicide after tasting global success for just a while, addressing his suicide letter to his childhood imaginary friend… unseen, a voice in his head.

All the voices in my mind, calling out across the line -Ed Sheeran in Bloodstream

Five minutes and nine seconds long, “Bloodstream” was written by Ed Sheeran along with Snow Patrol band members (Jonny McDaid & Gary Lightbody), remixed by English Drum and Bass band Rudimental. Along with it’s accompanying video this number is attention stealing and tells a story of a middle aged man who has outlived his glory days, a rockstar that has unfortunately faded away… though his fortune is still intact, the spotlight is clearly missed by the lonely aging rocker… Yes, we all just wanna be big rocksars… just imagine being on stage and taking in love from the audience for the first time at the height of your career… you’d never want to let that go. Once high on applause he is now low on life.

“All you do is you chase it. You chase that initial feeling, and you never get it back” – Jerry Sunorne about his heroine addiction in Things We Lost in the Fire


About Ndumiso Mncwabe

When beautiful melodies tell us horrible things and grisly sounds tell us the kind truth. This is where life and music meet. They say music has the power to inspire change, I say music has the power to inspire vibes. Good vibes and bad vibes. It also has the power to inspire thoughts, but most importantly, for it to inspire change, it must inspire conversation. I smell music, I speak music. View all posts by Ndumiso Mncwabe

9 responses to “Kissed By God

  • Kally

    Great article!! Good writing and sleek details.


  • faatimaishere

    Another beautifully composed blog post… came to some realizations whilst reading this, the message in this post can apply to how we all are searching for admiration and validation from people but is the chase worth it? Does it ever work?
    People all have their own story, perspectives and insight so whilst love from others is valued it should never become an addiction.
    It may very much be fleeting..but don’t fear we are all in this inner war so instead find the light of ever lasting self-love to heal, unsubjective and unconditional.
    That’s all. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  • missbonolo

    Loved it! Really makes one assess their life: is it all worth it? This chase? Is it all worth it? Like you said; money can’t buy happiness, but we wanna find that out for ourselves.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ndumiso Mncwabe

      You said it Bonolo… now a line from “Some Nights” by FUN. just came to mind… So this is it? I sold my soul for this? I miss my mom and dad for this? No… When I see stars that’s all they are… I’ll stop here before I get carried away, Thanks for the feedback 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  • mentalbreakinprogress

    Love this 🙂 I can relate to this on so many levels. I have never really been interested in chasing a dollar…but just the basic need to make a pay check…but there is so much more to the world than that. We slave away at jobs thinking…”If I can pay my bills, all will be well with the world” I can say as someone who has struggled with mental illness…you see money does not fix anything…I walked out on my job because it was so toxic…I stuck it out much longer than I should have because of financial reasons…but when I finally left…a huge weight was taken off of me…I wasn’t even sure what was going to happen but I just didn’t care…as it turns out…making that move was one of the best things I have ever done for myself and those around me…it has not been an easy ride but things have a way of working out for the better when you embrace what is truly important…and in my eyes money is not one of those things. Thanks for sharing this 🙂


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