Tag Archives: #TruthThursday

Lonely Teenagers Broke Down My Groove

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After spending so much time in a relationship with someone, is it ever a good idea to part over “differences” of a sort? I’d like to think not, but truth is, we do… But why do we allow this? Hell, what are all these differences about anyway?

Through the blossoming days we are most probably aware of what we like as well as what we don’t like about each other and it is in such a conscious setting that we are able to acknowledge a problem for what it is, a problem, a situation with an expiry date on it… Something we can sort out… It is when we lose sight of who we’re with and why we’re with them that we start seeing each other as the problem as opposed to seeing the situation as the problem that the “differences” are born… That’s when what we have is stamped with an expiry date.

We as people are not temporary, situations are, problems are. It’s when we start confusing each other with the situation we may be in that we blindly throw everything into the garbage bag.

Detach     your partner from     the problem, stop trying to solve your partner, solve the situation.

 

I want so much to open your eyes

‘Cause I need you to look, into mine

 

Lionized by pop culture (esp. TV series) “Open Your Eyes” by Snow Patrol has mostly been implied to be a literal opening of the eyes of a near death (or already deceased) loved one. It has been featured in both ER as well as Grey’s Anatomy to set the theme of distress of fearing the possibility or perhaps facing the fact of not being able to look into a loved one’s eyes ever again… The disbelief…

The song has also been used to ferry it’s more figurative message as the theme for Barack Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign, perhaps suggesting that the nation should be awake and or aware of the situation, not only that but to be conscious of the necessary steps (voting for him) to help the situation the American nation may have been facing at that time.

 

Get up, get out, get away from these liars

‘Cause they don’t get your soul or your fire

Take my hand; knot your fingers through mine

And we’ll walk from this dark room for the last time

 

Words that can be applied to a personal relationship… A romantic relationship. We forget that we’re in it together, we start villainizing each other, we start blaming each other for the situation, for the space we’re in, instead of teaming our way out of that space, the dark room.

 

 

 


Mandela Girls: The Truth Thursday Addition

Today the truth will come out: Mandela Girls? Why Mandela Girls? Fitzpleasure by Alt-J is one of those songs I can’t relate to yet intensely enjoy listening to nonetheless. The song itself is said to be inspired by a chapter from Hubert Selby, Jr.’s 1964 controversial novel about the brutality of urban life. The book was titled Last Exit to Brooklyn. The song inspiring chapter ends with the gruesome rape of a prostitute character named Tralala. A line from the song that always plays in my head is of course “little did I know then, that the Mandela boys soon become Mandela men”, So basically after writing a women’s day post about an incident I had with a group of prostitutes, I thought I’d change the “boys” in Mandela boys to “girls” for a title.

“There’s a gang in Southampton called The Mandela Boys. We were scared s—less of them when we were kids. The (next) line, ‘Little did I know then that the Mandela Boys soon become Mandela Men’ is me wondering whether they’re still in the gang or if they’ve just all got jobs and kids now.”- Alt-J frontman

The rest of the post swings back and forth from the featured Keane track to being about the world’s oldest profession. The originator of the phrase “The world’s oldest profession” was Rudyard Kipling. His 1888 story about a prostitute begins, “Lalun is a member of the most ancient profession in the world.” As progressives debated how to deal with prostitution in the US in the early 1900s, medical professionals soon began to misquote Kipling, and the phrase took on a life of its own.

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Shot by Brent Slirton the above picture of Maria, a drug addicted sex worker resting between clients in the room she rents in Kryvyi Rih, Ukraine won him first prize in the Contemporary Issues Singles category.

 

In Mandela Girls I mentioned how you and I can only speculate about the psychological and emotional journey an aging sex worker goes through. Truth is, not many of them get the chance to age. After so many run ins with abusive clients as well as the health risks they put themselves through not forgetting their probable use of drugs, sooner rather than later, the body must reject the host to survive…

In Mandela Girls I also asked, when is that point in a woman’s life does she decide to pursue prostitution? How hard or easy is it, how long does it take for a woman to brace herself, to talk herself into taking that particular path? In ‘Til She Cries No More I made up a fictional character who naturally made love for free ’til her 1st love broke her heart and she “lost” her way as she spiralled into drug abuse and prostitution… You know how that 1967 rock number goes, The First Cut is the Deepest, and you know what people say, a girl’s real first love is her father.

 

“Fathers, be good to your daughters

Daughters will love like you do

Girls become lovers who turn into mothers

So mothers, be good to your daughters too”

 

Sticking to the whole women’s month vibe, “Daughters” is a Grammy winning number by American singer-songwriter John Mayer. Lyrically the song is an appeal to parents, more especially fathers to nurture their daughters in their childhood because the relationship will affect their future relationships with men as adults.

 

“Oh, you see that skin?

It’s the same she’s been standing in

Since the day she saw him walking away

Now she’s left Cleaning up the mess he made”

 

Though prostitution is largely influenced by poverty and is seen as the “last resort” to making a living, unfortunately to some it’s not a last resort they had to take but something they’ve chosen to do as a result of bad parenting and them finding or trying to find the parental love they yearn for from all the wrong people… some simply do it to rebel. To break free from what is expected of them…

“The fact that they could juggle both the outside prejudice and the layers of euphemism (even deceit) their professions required was… inspiring me. … All of my problems were solved! It didn’t matter that I was a little girl with an armful of bad tattoos! I would be able to move out of my mother’s house completely! No one would ever be the boss of me again!”- Cathryn Berarovich in How I Became a Prostitute