Tag Archives: Life

Sticks & Stones & Weed & Bombs 

Stepped on

Slept on but still she kept on

Up for days she weeps the sun on

Her cries don’t fall on deaf ears but rather those that don’t care

Slept on, slept on, she’s dealing with a loaded cannon

A con

The more she gives to him, the more she dies

As she leaves her body for the skies 

She is now the everliving ghost of what once was

Slept on…

What the hell is being slept on?  No one has ever explained it to me nor have I taken any time to do any research on it, so like most I’ve made my own assumptions as far as what it means. I didn’t really think nor care about what it really meant until I started paying attention to Noah Cyrus and Labyrinth’s “You Make Me” video clip. If you watch the clip and think about what’s happening,  you’ll realize that both Noah & Labrinth are actually helplessly being slept on.

We often hear about undiscovered or unsung talent that is being “slept on”, It is a very real and sad epidemic, but then again, it really isn’t all that bad considering that those doing the sleeping are most probably only sleeping because they are yet to be introduced to or are yet to uncover that which they are sleeping on.

Tragedy comes when being slept on is the kind of being slept on we see on the “You Make Me” clip… When one is being slept on by someone they’ve obviously given themselves to, someone who knows them but for some reason is no longer moved by all that they are, all that they’ve given to them, all that they’re still willing to give… Is no longer worth losing a blink.

They know them interested, they know them awake, they’ve felt their attention, possibly their love and with every attempt to resuscitate the spark, they chip another piece off of themselves, they lose an inner peace… They retrogress…

Like a moth drawn to a flame they are bound to burn out, until they decide to rise once more and let go and start it over again in Mexico.

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Bigger Than Jesus

Currently serving a life sentence, Mark Chapman was denied parole for the 8th time back in 2012. Receiving an autograph from John Lennon a few hours before assassinating him, Mark says he had to end John Lennon’s life after learning about claims and stats that ranked The Beatles popularity higher than Jesus…

 

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“Mama

Still wonder if this shit is real

I get on the stage and women scream like Meek Mill

Fucking in some nollis bar with…

I took off my pants and she said short gun long dick… Load up the chopper like it’s December 31st

Roll up and cock it and hit them niggas where it hurts

If I die today, Remember me like John Lennon

Buried In Louie, I’m talking all brown linen

huh?”

 

They say everybody loves a hero, but what makes a hero? The villain of course, okay scratch that, before I go on a tangent I’ll come up with a different answer, perhaps one that is less mind wrecking to all of us, better yet, let me just insert the music part of this post while I’m at it, as music fans we all have music heroes, and with that, there’s something rather magical that happens when an artist decides to pay homage to an artist they perhaps look up to. With hip hop stars going on about how absolutely awesome they are in every other song, it’s refreshing when they rap or write in praise of an artist before them.

I think we can all agree that “Doc Shebeleza” was the biggest hip hop song in SA back in 2014, a song that pays homage to hip hop’s very own Doc Shebeleza, I don’t know if any one noticed this, but if you’re not from South Africa, “Doc Shebeleza” is basically a downplayed version of “John” by Lil Wayne. Both songs are titled after respected artists, both songs lionize living the life of a rockstar and well, the energy of the song is very much the same. Undress your mind and play Lil Wayne’s “John”, ignore the lyrics and rap/sing “Doc Shebeleza” over it an all will be obvious.

“True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic, It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost”- Arthur Ashe

 


Young Umlazi Girl In A Push-up Bra

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“When you start putting pen to paper, you see a side of your personal truth that doesn’t otherwise reveal itself in conversation or thought”

This is without a doubt one of my most favourite quotes by The Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis.

I started “scribbling” to try and make sense of the world around me… I had so many questions I needed answered but with every attempt to answer these questions came a ton of other questions… The more I see the less I know… The older I get, the more mysterious the world gets.

In retrospect, my reasons for taking my scribbles online were selfish, I did it for myself, mostly because I just love scribbling… but if I scribbled and no one saw my scribbles, did I scribble at all? Haha, Next to my pure interest in writing I’ve always loved putting out ideas, sharing ideas, having my ideas challenged and so on… Little did I know, having an “online journal” would expose me to a reality I wouldn’t have been exposed to otherwise…

As my blogging habits developed I got to interact with some of the most interesting people I’ve ever came across… Getting to see some of their stories I became aware of how much of a reality mental illness is, and how so many of us may be living with one but don’t even know it… This being because of the stigma that mental illnesses come with, it’s easy for us to assume that we’re not part of the distorted panting society has made mental illness out to be… It’s so good to convince oneself that we’re not part of something so much of society frowns upon, something that one should be ashamed of…

 

There’s a lot that I don’t know

There’s a lot that I’m still learning

When I think I’m letting go

I find my body it’s still burning

And you hold me down

And you got me living in the past

Come on and pick me up

Somebody clear the wreckage from the blast…

 

Though awareness is important (Yes we all know that the 1st step to conquering anything is acknowledging it… and as a unite, there is no limit to what we can accomplish in helping each other as brothers and sisters)… Getting the word other there is important… We can only hope that the world opens it’s eyes and hearts to such realities, though whether the world comes around or not, an individual living with a mental illness has nothing to prove to anyone nor does one need acceptance to be… To survive… To conquer…

 

Yea I’m alive

But I don’t need a witness

To know that I survive

I’m not looking for forgiveness

Yea I just need light

I need light in the dark as I search for the resolution…

 

Song: Resolution by Jack’s Mannequin

Very nice song by the way…

 


The Devil’s Haircut

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Secondhand opinions… Nothing makes me want to drive my head at full force into the wall more than secondhand opinions… So many people think they’re the only people with access to the TV, re-conveying an opinion of someone they saw on TV almost word for word (with a sense of possession) as if it were their own… Sometimes I don’t know if they can tell if it’s really their own opinion or not. The media has us in a choke hold, we can’t think for ourself, anything and everything they say is the gospel cool and we want to be part of it…

 

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We’re everyday robots in control
Or in the process of being sold
Driving in adjacent cars
‘Til you press restart

Everyday robots just touch thumbs
Swimmin’ in lingo they become
Stricken in a status sea
One more vacancy

For everyday robots getting old
When our lips are cold
Lookin’ like standing stones
Out there on our own

Song: Everyday Robots by Damon Albarn

 


3 Day Quote Challenge Round 2! (Day 3)

Made it! Okay, almost… At least as soon as I click the publish button… Yeap David of Chape Personal Trainer  was kind enough to nominated me for the 3 day 3 quotes challenge and yea, today is the last day… Kinda sad… By the way, I’d like to thank David once more and yes I think his blog is pretty awesome, so go check it out! CHECK IT!

Challenge’s rules:

  1. Post three consecutive days.
  2. You can pick one or three quotes per day.
  3. Challenge three different bloggers per day.

We live in a time where time is money and everyone is using their time to make money… Chasing that dream and that billionaire status can sometimes consume us and who we are… We forget what’s important… And why we’re chasing these dreams in the 1st place… Today I’d like to share a quote I took from a song by The Kings of Leon titled “The Immortals”

“Spill out on the streets to start, ride away, find out what you are, face to face, Once you’ve had enough, carry on, don’t forget to love before you’re gone”

My nominees are:

Lisa

msbukky

Jules


3 Day Quote Challenge Round 2! (Day 1)

Awesome. David of Chape Personal Trainer has nominated me for a challenge I really enjoy. I’d like to thank him for the nomination and yea, we’re a few weeks from trying to start or fulfil those new year’s resolutions and if being fit and healthy is one of those resolutions or if you just need to know how not to hurt yourself in the gym or need help with an injury Chape Personal Trainer is the place to go!

Challenge’s rules:

  1. Post three consecutive days.
  2. You can pick one or three quotes per day.
  3. Challenge three different bloggers per day.

 

Okay… I’ll try to make this as not awkward as possible… I really don’t know how to say it, so I’ll just say it… here goes;

Is it okay if I quote myself this time? Just this once? Will it be too weird? Okay.

 

A few years ago I was having a talk with a friend, she had passed out (fainted) earlier that day. She revealed that she had been trying out various (extreme) diets she also went on to tell me how insecure she was about her weight and how she knew what people thought of her…

It’s not just about our physical appearance, we try to fit in with the way we think, the way we speak and the things we have… We all have something, we all have someone. Unfortunately – fixated on what we think we need, we often overlook what we have.

To her I said

“The only people worth impressing are those that are already impressed”

 

 

My nominees are:

Alisha

Kally

Laura

 


Tastes Like Not Chicken

Colour, color, nationality, race, genre, black music, white music… So many boxes… We’re boxing ourselves, each other and everything around us. Yes, there is music we can each call our own, ancestral music that isn’t praised or produced in any other part of the world but our own… But like the words I write, you can’t put ownership on feelings… Listen…

Yes, we may all have a preference on the genres or the kind of music we mostly listen to, but how society is set up, there are cool genres and not so cool genres, some of us claim to only listen to a certain or a specific genre… I’m not one of those people because, yes, you’ve guessed it, I believe music is more than style, it is more than a tone, it is more than a melody, it is more than an instrument… Music is feeling, and whatever the genre or how much you don’t like the artist, if a song catches you at the right moment, you’re caught! Feelings everywhere… Going forward, whether you admit to feeling a song or not (assuming in your world it’s a style/genre or artist not generally considered as cool) is then your laundry to air.

Comedy movies are my favourite, they’ve always been my favourite though my most favourite movie is far from being a comedy…

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Starring Leleti Khumalo, Yesterday is without a doubt one of the best movies I’ve ever seen… Yes, it caught me, it pinned me down, I felt it…

The movie is basically about a wife/mother who learns that she’s HIV+ and the self-dialogue and struggles that follow.

Living at the village she stays with just her daughter as her husband works by the city as a Miner… She seems to be faithful, but we can’t say the same for her husband… He also turns out to be abusive as he beats her up when she tells him that she had just found out that she has the virus… Lonely and bruised she travels back home from the city… Time and sickness would soon relieve the husband from his denial and whisper the truth through weak, hard coughs that he perhaps did have the virus… and that he had passed it on to his wife…

 

Boys working on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?

I just think about my baby

I’m so full of love I could barely eat

There’s nothing sweeter than my baby

I’d never want once from the cherry tree…

 

As his health gets worse, he finally returns to his wife and daughter… Some how, his wife finds it in herself to take care of him, and nurse him as she had to deal with suddenly being treated like an outsider by her stigma ruled neighbours… shunned by many she once knew as friends…

 

Boys, when my baby found me

I was three days on a drunken sin

I woke with her walls around me

Nothin’ in her room but an empty crib

And I was burning up a fever

I didn’t care much how long I lived

But I swear I thought I dreamed her

She never asked me once about the wrong I did

 

Driven by her wish to see her little daughter go to (her 1st day of) school she is in steady health, but tired of her nosey neighbours and how they were treating her and her husband for being HIV+ and the hospital not being able to accommodate her husband she builds a shack in solitude where she continues to nurse him as his health unfortunately gets worse…

 

My babe would never fret none

About what my hands and my body done

If the Lord don’t forgive me

I’d still have my baby and my babe would have me…

 

The movie is definitely about love, forgiveness and of course willpower… She had promised herself that she’d take her daughter to her 1st day of school… Then and only then will the virus be allowed to do as it pleases with her… The husband is as loving as can be towards his wife and daughter as his life slips away…

 

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark Earth

No grave, can hold my body down

I’ll crawl home to her…

 

Song: Work Song by Hozier